This Video Is Awful Every "Tingle" Time You Watch It

I think it goes without saying that this kid is absolutely obnoxious. But it's obvious this kid is so full of crap that he cannot contain himself by just releasing his verbal diarrhea to his friends and family. No, smearing some on the internet won't be the least embarrassing for someone like him about 5 or 10 years from now. Why would you expect anything less from someone with such an awful name as Brandlee. Talking into a lint roller is somewhat refreshing though, at least he didn't hijack his sister's hair brush. When he gags after saying 'Miller' it was probably because his dad last used it on his wool socks and this kid must have an allergy. Still does not excuse him from saying every "tingle" time instead of 'single' time. Who needs to edit when you're going to let the whole world see something, right? Just awful. The tags to this post say it all, folks.

These Kids Have Seriously Never Heard of Wiffle?

Based on the comments on this video's Youtube page, I found out that it was a fake commercial made for a class project. Fine. What the kid doesn't understand is that the ball he held in his hand at the beginning of the commercial is not a "normal wiffle ball." The simpleton doesn't realize that the 'Zebra Ball' is nothing extraordinary, in fact a better version of it was created over 50 years ago...you know, the real Wiffle Ball. Kids have access to such a vast amount of information on the internet yet this dolt appears to believe he invented something. Unbelievable!

"...Hopefully I caught the slider."

"That was awesome - I just hit the camera with the wiffle ball." Really dude? Was it just the awesomest thing EVER? Perhaps. But allow me to drop some knowledge on you. You may or may not know but the price difference between a camera and a wiffle ball is a fairly large one. A wiffle ball costs like $2.50, a camera does not. So spend a little extra dough on a piece of plexiglass to protect the camera, alright? "Hopefully I caught the slider." Hate to break it to you but I saw little to no movement on the ball before you nearly broke the lens of your camera.

Definitions with Wiffler's Digest

Teacher: Okay class take your seats! Now, get our your dictionaries. It's time to learn the word of the day. Class: "Yay!!!!".
Teacher: Settle down class. Today's word is pansy.
Student: "What letter does that begin with?"
Teacher: The letter 'P'. P as in Pansy. Let's read together, okay?
Class: A pansy is 'a violet cultivated in many varieties, having richly and variously colored flowers.'
Teacher: Very good class but that's not quite the context I was going for. Read the secondary definition.
Class: 'a weak, effeminate, and often cowardly man.'
Teacher: Excellent! [end]

What is with these people using wiffle ball equipment to inflict "pain"? It's plastic. It can only do so much. These kids think they are going to get a girlfriend by posting a video of themselves hitting each other with a plastic ball on the internet? Sorry but in the event that they actually like girls yet, it's highly unlikely that this video will result in any romantic endeavors. If anything it saves a girl a lot of time from trying to figure out if you're a moron. This video clearly indicates that you are indeed a moron and therefore does not have to go out on a ice-cream date with you and your parents to figure that out about you. But why do this? Everybody knows that the ball does not cause much, if any, pain to a person. It's the bat that can leave a nice bruise or cause a broken bone if put into capable hands. But throwing a ball at a speed of perhaps 23 mph? Give me a break. When I was a kid we threw knives at each other and didn't bother to put it on the webernet or whatever crazy doo-dad these kids are using these days.

Worst Wiffle Video Ever?

I've watched thousands of wiffleball videos on the internet in the past 6 months and if this one ranks as one of the worst I've seen. Thoughts?

Human Piñata...Thank You Beer

Seriously? What the Hell? I guess everyone has their own idea of fun. If you've followed this blog long enough, you'll know that this isn't the first video I've posted where dudes hit other dudes with wiffleball bats. Okay. So what makes this one special? Valid question. Well for starters, it's more than a well-placed swing to the face. One guy gets hit in the beer gut and another guy gets hit (more like spanked) on the bare ass (crack blurred out...don't worry). Now for the money shot: the guy actually taking a blow to the face. After initial impact, they abuse the technology we enjoy known as slow-motion. They replay the bat to the face sequence about 56 times. Then it's more party antics after that. This moment was brought to you by beer.

Bonus fact: About 9,000 years ago it is believed that somewhere in the Fertile Crescent that someone mixed water with barley and created the first brew or beer. Beer is one of the oldest prepared beverages concocted by humankind. So it's safe to say that people have been doing really stupid stuff like this for thousands of years and there's no reason to believe that it won't happen thousands of years into the future.

"The Showdown"

This video would have a lot more potential if it wasn't filled with weird lines and actually made sense. If you had the capability to stop time and manipulate objects why wouldn't you make the ball hit the little dweeb in the face?

And now a Wiffle Public Service Announcement...

Although Wiffleball is seen as a children's toy it does NOT mean that you can haphazardly swing the bat at other people's skulls. This guy had it coming. He is apparently stupid. This was shot at the University of Tennessee by the way. Ah yes, the place where cutting edge research and learning takes place. Oh wait, the stupidity of students isn't limited to beer games. No. Apparently taking a thick plastic bat to the forehead is climbing up the list of pastimes. The guy who was swinging the bat wasn't holding back either. He must have had something against this guy. The bat actually bends a little bit. Those of us with extensive experience with yellow bats can attest to their durability. So a bat bending is not to be taken lightly. This guy should have gotten a CT scan for brain trauma after taking a hit like this. But since he was thinking a bat to the head won't hurt maybe he had already suffered some brain damage prior to this event. There's no way this guy's on the Dean's List.

Wifflebat Fight Club...seriously?

Yes you read right. G4's Attack of the Show has managed to take polluting the sport of wiffleball to a whole new level.

The first rule of Wifflebat Fight Club is that it's okay to televise Wifflebat Fight Club events.
The second rule of Wifflebat Fight Club is that you do not use actual Wiffle Bats (yellow bats).

The third rule of Wifflebat Fight Club is that although the bats we use couldn't possibly hurt we can still be pussies and wear protective head gear.

Why is this happening? I mean they're not even actually using the official Wiffle Ball bat. If you used the real bat that would probably sting quite a bit. It's thicker plastic and the hollow center isn't as big, thus less resistance when it hits the ball...or human flesh. That's why they work so well on pinatas. But these gigantic bats they use render the name of the club useless. Those big red bats are despised in purist Wiffleball counter-culture. They're called everything from "fag bats" to "Captain Caveman bats." Such a mockery of a good movie and a phenomenal book. Somewhere in Portland, Oregon Chuck Palahniuk is vomiting after watching this video. What's sad is that since Attack of the Show has such a following of gamers that this travesty of an activity is already spreading. 

Then there's this video. Stick with this one, it's worth it in the end. It appears that they had a choreographed nerdy Star Wars reenactment in mind but things went horribly wrong when rehearsal turned to improvisation. You'll see what I mean near the end of the video below.