I'm not done.
Just for fun - let's try to imagine how you could be terminally injured during a rousing game of wiffleball. There's really only a handful of ways this could happen, most of them would require a person to be either mentally inept or extremely unfortunate.
- A pitcher pitches a ball at an incredible velocity and hits the batter directly to the temple possibly causing a concussion and permanent unconsciousness. The aforementioned type of pitch could also strike an exposed tumor a batter could have, causing it to explode and cancerous juices quickly spread throughout the body causing a slow death for the unfortunate player.
- A batter who desires to hit more long balls corks his bat with a metallic material of some sort. Wiffleball can be played in the rain because it's an all plastic game and does not necessarily attract electricity. A batter with a corked bat could conduct electricity to him/herself and cause immediate death as thousands of watts of electricity travel through their body.
- Two friends decide that it's a great idea to strike each other in the head with the sturdy official yellow bat. Hitting the spinal cord just right can cause separation of the vertebrae and cause paralysis which can affect the brain's messages to parts of the body such as heart and lung function. If you're dumb enough to mock execute a friend with such a blunt object...maybe you deserve to die.
- An outfielder could impale him/herself chasing a fly ball that's traveling over the fence. A fence post could turn a person to a human popsicle when the circumstances are right.
- If your mouth is big enough you could always choke on a Wiffle Ball. If the ball is lodged far enough down your through you can block any access of air to the wind pipe. The ball would be near impossible to move from this position. it's round, smooth, and would become extremely slippery with saliva.
